I never thought this was something I’d be writing about but here we are. It’s natural for young couples to go through a phase of growing up. Especially if you got together when you were in your early twenties.
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Kevin and I met in college around the ages of 22 and 23. I had just transferred to Cal State Fullerton and he had also just transferred from Long Beach State.
We became friends and roommates when I realized I couldn’t keep commuting to college from Palmdale at a 2 hr drive. At the time Kevin was housing other college students in the home that we live in now as a married couple.
I moved in to ease the commute and we started to date. As our relationship grew we found a steady pace of graduating to the “next step,” going on trips together, meeting the parents, going on trips with parents, building IKEA furniture together the whole lot.
Over time, we found that with each little milestone of our relationship as we matured in age, brought us to buying cars, paying mortgages and marriage.
Over the years of being together we’ve built some awesome businesses that feed our ravenous creative sides and entrepreneur lifestyle. I can’t imagine a world where this wasn’t true.
And yes, the balance is really hard. The next natural step or societal step would be is to have children. And as we look around to our friends that definitely seems to be the case.
But as we’ve collectively agreed upon, children doesn’t look like a viable next step for us. We indeed love our lifestyle that we’ve built together and are still hungry for more it. So, where do we go from here.
Well that’s where play comes into the picture.
You see, Kevin and I work so hard in our respective businesses and there’s definitely some overlap. Most conversations and thought processes revolve around how we’re going to scale, expand and or build the next entrepreneur venture together. And we love it. We’ve designed our life this way.
However, it’s not to say that it’s a constant battle to break away from that life to understand that there are people and things more and/ or just as important to prioritizing, like our relationship.
You can only hustle so hard until you’ve told everyone around you you’re busy, wake up and you’re all alone.
We understand the hustle can be consuming so we’ve developed a little trick for us and encourage other couples to follow which is to jump head first into playtime. Take that as deep or a short as you want it, but I like to break it down in our relationship like this:
Playtime can be defined as how you talk to each other. Nowadays, Kevin and I have our own language and we try to make it cute. It’s hustle time ALOT so anything to cut the tension of working 24/7 helps bring us back to a good place and always tempers moods.
Of course it’s what it sounds like as well: scheduled time to play: I can’t tell you how stress relieving and relationship building it was to build star wars legos every now and again. We go back and forth between big sets and little ones and it’s purely childlike and creative.
And as always there’s sexy playtime. I used to think that sexy time was all about being incredibly hot and spot on with this technique or that that moan, but really it’s all about being comfortable in your own skin and trusting your partner to see that despite flaws, stretch marks or other self-critical things. Sexy time is playtime and allowing yourself to get swept up in it is a liberating perspective that I think we can all take into the rest of our lives. Give everything, be present and move and act according to how you feel. Play with your words and your tone. Permit the foul ups and not being perfect.
I find that this journey of trying “grow up” was helpful when were truly young and still figuring out life. Now as we reach our 30’s I find that there’s so much to be gained when you view life and your relationship from a means of play.
After all, whether you’re as busy or as stressed as the common person is, I know introducing a little play into your mood can ripple into some pretty awesome affects.
Meg Le Vu