So here we are, at our new tradition: destination Big Bear for our engagement anniversary. We have so many anniversaries, it’s almost laughable. We have the first date, the engagement, and now coming up—the wedding date.
But that’s the point isn’t it?
I watched this youtube video on relationships mocking the silliness of celebrating a 1 month anniversary. I thought to myself, Kevin surprised me with a cake, flowers, a song, a card – the whole enchilada on our first month together. And then he did it again on the second month.
It was the over-the-top, maybe even scoff-worthy type of early-bird celebrating, that would make most people weirded out.
Listen to this post:
Well, good thing I’m weird because I loved it. So what if it’s 1 month? So what if it’s 2 weeks?
I think what’s important and what makes me so grateful, is that Kevin will take any excuse to celebrate our relationship. And when you’re busy with life, you need to take those opportunities.
Last year we celebrated our engagement with a surprise trip to Big Bear. It’s crazy to write about it now because just a month before he proposed, I was really doubting us.
It’s not easy to share that here, but it’s the truth.
A year ago, I doubted if Kevin would understand me the way I wanted him to. You see a year ago I wasn’t sure where my passion for creating a business online would take me. We’ve always struggled because the business I wanted to create didn’t fit anything that Kevin could understand. It’s hard to believe in your dream when your future spouse doesn’t get it. But that was before I learned a key-turning concept:
A year ago, I didn’t know how to be confident in my own business. I didn’t know that he didn’t have to understand every little thing that I do. I didn’t know that I was creating something that was for me. Sure I was going to share it with him, but it was solely for me and me alone to figure out and stand on my own two legs with.
I think when you’re with someone for a while, you begin to question your own wants and your own needs.
“Who I am I in this relationship?” I used to wonder.
“Where’s my own shit?”
“Where’s my brand?”
“Am I just a follower?”
I don’t care how that sounds, I just know I need to have “a room of my own” as Virgina Woolf put it. A partnership is made strong because we both bring our best to the table.
My ego cannot be carried off into the sunset.
Sometimes you ache that can’t just tell them. And sometimes, you outright forget what you really want. When Kevin proposed to me, he still didn’t understand what I do and wanted to create.
And he didn’t have to. I get that now.
When he proposed to me last year, he understood that I was going to do what I wanted and he was still going to be there. It was me that had to learn to be confident in my own desires.
I just needed to show him.
In this past year, we’ve been tested and because we’ve allowed each other the safety to be honest, there’s a calm that resides in us now. The doubt I once felt is washed away because time and time again he continues to surprise me. The surprises come in gifts, video games, sweets and more. But beyond the material things, he continues to surprise me with his commitment to the work we put into this partnership.
I write about this stuff, but it’s Kevin that makes me reflect on my faults and my wins so ardently. There is no blame, but simply an opportunity to be better. To be happier.
As we look to the future, we revel in what we’ve created and overcome. And like so many things we’ve done together, taking these photos didn’t start out that easy too. But over time we learn to boost each other up and forgive our tempers. Because there’s more to this just creating pretty pictures, there’s real work to be done and there’s nothing more I’d rather be doing than to be working for us.